


The Definition of Insanity

by Pathfinder (Coffeeaftermidnight)



Series: Storm Coast AU [4]
Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor, Jay is a nerd pass it on, Jeff is 13, Mild Self-Hatred, Tim calls himself Masky and Brian calls himself Hoodie, Zalgo - Slender war au, drugged drinks, in a 'my little brother won't shut up' way, mild teased Tim/Jay/Brian but not in a serious way, what is the tag for that?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeaftermidnight/pseuds/Pathfinder
Summary: Another night, another attempt to capture Jay Merrick and end his investigation. Unfortunately it seems the amateur detective would rather play Ring Around the Rosie with a gas station than go to the designated area. Boy, Masky and Hoodie are gonna feel dumb when they find out Jay has no sense of direction...Part of the Storm Coast au, set in the Past era, where Slenderman and Zalgo are engaged in an on-and-off turf war for the whole planet, and Jay really needs to stop sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. If you enjoyed this, feel free to check out the rest that I've written, or visit the blog at storm-coast-au on Tumblr. Happy reading!
Series: Storm Coast AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741159
Kudos: 15





	The Definition of Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> Title thanks to Jay/Slenders1ckn3ss on Tumblr.

"What the hell is this guy doing?" Hoodie asked, passing the binoculars over to Masky. They stood alone on top of the roof, the city stretching beneath them. Not a big city, not a big building, but from here they could see a good portion of the streets, and the familiar car that circled through the dusk.

Masky looked through the binoculars, frowning. That was Jay's car, the same one they'd been watching for the past fifteen minutes. They'd been following him since he arrived in this town about thirty minutes from their college. He'd been supposed to get here within five minutes of getting to town. But instead…

"He must know something's up," Masky said, passing the binoculars back. "He's getting smarter."

"I'll believe that when I see it," Hoodie said, peering back through the lenses.

Swallowing another comment, Masky stared down at the city below. The sun was going down, the night too warm for either of them to be dressed like this, but since neither were really human anymore it wasn't like they cared. A minute passed, then another.

"Why is he circling around that gas station?" Hoodie lowered the binoculars.

"Maybe he's looking for someone." Masky rustled in his jacket.

"Who could he have called?" Hoodie said. "He doesn't work with anyone but us sometimes, and when he does he…" Hoodie trailed off, watching as Masky pulled the mask halfway up his face and lit the cigarette. Masky took a deep breath of the cigarette and exhaled the smoke.

"Stop looking at me like that." Masky didn't look over at his partner.

"You told Slenderman you'd cut back," Hoodie said.

"I did cut back," Masky said. "I'm only smoking one pack a week now. I don't get what the big deal is anyway. It's not going to kill me."

"You don't know that," Hoodie said. "We don't know what kind of effect those things will have on his magic."

"The same kind of effect any addictive chemical does?" Masky snorted and took another inhale. "Besides, so what if it does kill me? Not like it'll matter if I die."

"Gee," a dry voice said from the nearby darkness, "now you're starting to sound like me."

Both men's heads snapped to the sound. Jeff gave them a grin and tossed the teleportation orb up with one hand. Masky and Hoodie groaned in annoyance.

"Go home, Jeff," Hoodie snapped. "It's past your bedtime."

"Not in Montana!" Jeff said with an even brighter grin. "Besides, it's not like anyone needs to know what I'm doing here, right?"

"You know we're gonna tell Slenderman as soon as we get back, right?" Masky said as Hoodie watched through the binoculars. "He'll be pissed when he finds out you stole that orb."

"It's not stealing if you don't give it back," Jeff said. Masky rolled his eyes and looked back to the road. In the distance, Jay idled at a red light, then turned, going the wrong way. He suppressed another groan.

"You guys stalking your boyfriend again?" Jeff said.

"He's not my boyfriend," the two older men said in tired unison. Jeff smirked.

"You sure do love spending all your time on him. You two are practically obsessed. Maybe next time you see him you should bring flowers."

"We wouldn't still be dealing with him if you didn't keep getting in the way," Hoodie said, looking at Jeff. "We could've had his memories wiped weeks ago if it weren't for you."

"Like it's ever that easy with Jay," Jeff said, folding his arms over his chest. "He'd probably remember like the week after we did it. And then he'd have seen Slender's face, and think he was abducted by aliens. Or, whatever." He waved his hand like it waved the thought away.

Masky growled, an inhuman sound, more like something their Eldritch superior would make. The two men looked at each other. For all they knew, Jeff might not be wrong. For a kid, he was pretty perceptive…

"Son of a bitch," Masky said, looking at the street. "Is he going by the gas station  _ again _ ?"

"That can't be a coincidence," Hoodie said. "There's something in there." He reached for his pistol in his jacket. "Something's gotten his attention…"

The smile fell from Jeff's face.

"You guys do know he's shit with directions, right?" He said.

Masky and Hoodie paused at the same time. Slowly, their heads moved to look at Jeff.

"Really?" Hoodie asked.

"Yeah," Jeff said. "He can't find his way around for shit. Gets lost on campus, gets lost in the grocery store… I bet his gps couldn't find this building. He uses it for everything."

"How do you know he gets lost in grocery stores?" Hoodie said.

Masky huffed. He dropped the cigarette at his feet and ground it into the concrete with his foot.

Jeff's grin returned. "Cause he took me there to get ice cream! I wore his hat and jacket and kept my face mask on. No one knew a thing!"

"If they had, you'd get both of you arrested," Hoodie said. "Is ice cream really worth going to jail for?"

"Yup!" Jeff grinned and tossed the orb into the air again. Masky caught it in one hand, and picked the tiny thirteen year old up in the other. The boy let out a yelp, writhing as Masky passed him over to Hoodie. In a flash of light, all three were on the ground. 

Walking to his hidden truck, Masky pulled the mask all the way off his face and tossed it through the open window into the driver's seat. Jeff soon followed, tossed without dignity into the backseat. Any complaints from the young killer were soon stifled by a cola slushie and a big candy bar. Normally Masky wouldn't dream of giving Jeff that much sugar, but after this, he was Eyeless Jack's problem. Served the medic right for taking his eyes off Jeff long enough for him to sneak out of the manor.

At the gas station, with his civilian jacket on, Masky watched for Jay's car. He idled at the door, Hoodie inside, drifting in his civilian getup under the slightly distracted eye of the clerk. Lighting up another cigarette, Masky took a breath just in time for Jay to circle around.

"Found you, you bastard," he mumbled. Pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, he stepped forward and waved at the car. Jay slowed down, his head turning towards the motion. He turned on his blinkers and pulled into the gas station.

Jay rolled down his window as Masky approached.

"Tim? What are you doing here?" Jay asked.

"Visiting family with Brian," Masky lied, "stopped to get some gas and we saw your car pass. Are you okay?"

The human looked away, embarrassment forming on his face.

"I'm not gonna lie, I'm lost," Jay said. "I'm trying to find this place but I have no idea where I'm going."

"Where is it?" Masky said. 

"I wrote it down, give me a second…" 

As Jay fumbled around in his car, Masky heard Hoodie walk up behind him. He raised his head, and the two shared a quick, satisfied grin.

"Here, I got it-" Jay straightened, a piece of paper in his hand, and blinked. "Hey Brian."

"Hey Jay. Saw you pulling in and got you some coffee." Hoodie offered the cup. "Hope you still like the way you got it before."

Jay's eyes brightened as he took the cup. "Thanks, Brian!" He raised the cup and took a deep drink. 

Masky watched a drop slip past his lips, down his stubbled chin towards his throat. The drug Hoodie put in the coffee wouldn't kick in until activated. Even if Jay did get lost again, they had 24 hours to catch him. Soon they'd all be able to wake up from this bad dream.

"Not a problem," Hoodie said. He waved and headed back to the truck. Masky turned back to Jay.

"So this place, I can probably tell you how to get there-" Masky paused. "Actually, I'll just text it to you." They could always have Ben erase the messages later.

Text sent, Masky waved Jay goodbye as the human left, oblivious to what he was walking into. The proxy shook his head as he walked back to the truck.

"That guy is so damn stupid," Masky said. "Who just goes to a place to meet someone after dark? Alone?"

"He thinks he can handle more than he actually can," Hoodie said. "If he gets involved with this war..."

Masky shook his head. No, that wasn't an option.

"You hear that, Jeff?" He called over his shoulder. "If we don't take care of this…"

There was no response. Masky twisted in his seat. In the backseat of the truck was an empty candy bar wrapper and the paper from a straw. No Jeff.

"Son of a bitch," Hoodie said. Both men looked up the street, where Jay's car waited again at the red light. The light turned, Jay pulled forward, only to swerve as if taken by surprise. A patch of white shone clear in the back of Jay's car, where nothing white had been before.

Both men groaned.

" _ Fuck _ ."


End file.
